Underneath It All
by marklovesroger
Summary: Mimi leaves the city, never to return. Roger finds comfort in Mark and eventually starts to feel an attraction to him that was always there, underneath it all.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Underneath It All  
**Author**: Alison xxnodaybuttoday  
**Rating**: PG (for now)  
**Pairing**: Mark/Roger  
**Summary**: Mimi leaves the city, never to return. Roger finds comfort in Mark and eventually starts to feel an attraction to him that was always there, underneath it all.  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing except the storyline.

I.

Roger's dirty blond hair slightly swayed in the cold breeze as he stood on the roof of the building drowning his sorrows in a bottle of beer. He had been up there for quite some time. Thinking. Pacing back and forth. Reading the note she left over and over again.

_Roger,_

_I'm leaving with my mother. She's sick and moving in with my Aunt in California. She needs me. I have to go with her. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. I don't want you to waste your time thinking of me. I may never come back. I may never get a chance to. So, please, if you can, just put me out of your mind completely. Our love will never die, but we must end things now. I'll always love you and I'm sure you feel the same. We're over. Done. We can always cherish the memory of what we had, but it exists no more. I know you'll be okay, Roger. You are strong. I have to go now. Please be strong._

_Forever Your Love,_

_Mimi_

He knew that she had meant what she said. They were over. She was never going to come back. He also knew that she had left this way to protect him. She probably didn't have that much time left. A few years at the most. She knew he wouldn't be able to cope with her dying right in front of him, so she used this as an excuse to run away. To leave him with the good memories. So that he could remember her as she was; young, fierce, vibrant, beautiful. He knew that what she said was true. He would always love her, and she him, but their relationship as they knew it was over.

Roger pulled a pack of marlboros from his pocket along with some matches, and slipped one out of the box. He placed it delicately between his lips, lit it and inhaled. His tense body relaxed a bit as he exhaled. He heard someone walking up a few feet behind him and jammed the note into his pocket forcefully.

"Here you are, Rog." A relieved-sounding Mark said as he came up to stand right next to his friend. "I've been looking for you." He put his hand out to ask for a drag of his cigarette and Roger handed it over.

Mark took a puff and handed it back. "Collins and I are going to go get something to eat. We were wondering if you and Mimi wanted to come."

Roger gave no response.

"So, would you guys like to come?"

"Um," Roger placed a hand over his eyes and squeezed as he blinked. "Maybe not tonight. Sorry. I'll see you guys later."

"Is something wrong?"

"No, well, kind of. I don't really want to talk about it right now."

"Are you sure?" He waited for an answer, but got none. "All right." He placed a hand on Roger's shoulder and gave it a little pat. "Just remember that you can talk to me." He looked at Roger's face and gave him a small smile. "I'll see you later."

"Bye." He tried to give him a smile back, but couldn't manage to bring one to his face.

He knew he could talk to Mark. This, he didn't want to talk to anyone about, though. He thought about Mark. A good soul in glasses and a scarf, constantly toting his camera around with him. He had kind blue eyes and a smile that could ease all the pain in the world. He was not at all intimidating in his small size - at least not to Roger who was a good four or five inches taller than his friend - except for when he got very angry, but that seldom happened as he had quite an easy going personality.

Roger remembered the days of his drug addiction and withdrawal. How had Mark dealt with him? He was so violent, so selfish, so undeserving of Mark's help. Roger pushed him away, and he just kept coming back. Mark knew that deep down, it was still Roger. He knew that it wouldn't last forever and that he could help him make it through and be okay again. He was so good to him. He was always so understanding. He attended to Roger's every need, whether it was holding back his hair and rubbing his back while he vomitted in the toilet or just simply getting him an extra blanket or a glass of water while he lay, uncomfortable, in bed. He could never have gotten better without Mark. He could never have gotten on with his life. He could never have met Mimi, and shared with her the most loving, passionate relationship of his life.

But she was gone now. Mark, however, was still around.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Underneath It All  
**Author**: Alison

**Rating**: PG (for now)  
**Pairing**: Mark/Roger  
**Summary**: Mimi leaves the city, never to return. Roger finds comfort in Mark and eventually starts to feel an attraction to him that was always there, underneath it all.  
**Disclaimer**: I own nothing except the storyline.

II.

Collins and Mark walked alongside one another back from the Chinese place a few blocks from their apartment. They could afford to eat out like this occasionally as long as it wasn't too expensive. They picked up their pace as the winter chill started to set in and their bodies, warm from being inside, started to lose some heat.

"So, where's Roger tonight?" Collins asked.

"He was on the roof when I left him," Mark replied with a soft chuckle, his face stiffened up a bit, "I think something's wrong. I'm worried."

"Why? What happened?"

"He wouldn't tell me anything, only that he didn't want to talk about it. He seems really upset, though."

"Do you think he's sick?"

"Jeez, I hope not. I really don't know what it is."

"Well, don't worry too much, Mark. I'm sure he'll either just tell you or get over whatever it is."

"Oh god, what if he is sick?"

"Mark, chill. Just talk to him, don't start making up all kinds of crazy things. You're just gonna scare yourself."

Mark shrugged, "Yeah, all right."

They reached the apartment building and walked in, then up three flights of stairs.

"You want to come up and hang out for a while?" Mark asked Collins.

"Nah, I'm done for the night. I've got a class to teach in the morning. Besides, you have other things to attend to."

Mark gave him a face.

Collins slapped him lightly on the back, "Oh, just go! I'll see you later."

He opened his door and went in, and Mark went to continue up the stairs. Two more flights and he reached their floor. He walked in and saw Roger sitting next to the window, staring out. There was some snow still on the ground from the week before. Most of it had become sullied by the passing cars or by dogs walking by, but there were a few white patches sticking out here and there. Mark closed the door behind him and Roger turned around.

"Hey." Mark said and offered a half smile.

"Hey." Roger said and then turned back around to face the window.

"I saved you some vegetables and noodles," He placed a styrafoam container down on the table and started walking over to the window, "It's right there if you want some."

"Hm, thanks." He nodded without even turning around to look.

Mark stood behind him. "I know there's something wrong. What is it? You can tell me, Rog."

Roger rested his face in his right hand and let out a small sigh.

Mark sat down next to him and looked him in the face. "Roger, come on."

He looked back. He saw Mark's concerned face. He knew that whatever he said wouldn't change it. However big or small his problem, he would treat it with the same compassion.

"It's Mimi." He finally said.

"Is she all right?"

"She left."

"Where'd she go?"

"It doesn't matter."

Mark looked uncertain.

"Look, she's not coming back. That's all." Roger said angrily, though you could see tears welling up in his eyes. He turned his head away from Mark.

"I'm sorry." He layed his arm across Roger's back and shoulders.

Roger closed his eyes and a few drops fell from them. He quickly wiped his face and stood up.

"I'm fine."

"You're obviously not fine." Mark said gently. "Just sit down, take it easy."

He went into his room and slammed the door.

Mark sighed, went into his own room and, quietly, closed the door. He could hear Roger sniffling in the next room. Roger never cried. He wondered why she'd left him. He was so happy with her. Why had she left him? Mark only wanted to see Roger happy, even if he wasn't a part of it, all he wanted was to see him happy. He slipped off his shoes and got into bed under his blanket. He heard Roger sniffling for another hour or so. When it finally stopped, which meant that Roger had drifted off, and Mark stopped worrying as much, he fell asleep.


End file.
